SHEILA and the City ;-)

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Too funny...

...to not copy here. I will not re-start this whole habit of horos posting, but this one is just too hilarious:

"A continuing saga of an issue of responsibility may come to a head today as you try to assert your independence once again. Life is a game of give and take but unfortunately your partner or close friend is making one demand too many. If that’s the case you’ll need to speak up today and assert your dominance over the situation and draw some distinct boundaries. This may or may not work, but at least in asserting yourself you’ll regain some self respect."

Do I need to explain? I don't think so.

Today I'm at work at home. I simply HAVE to, have been postponing it, then flu hit me and although I planned to work over christmas, I didn't. So each and every day I'm not at the office up unil Jan 12, you'll find me behind my lurvely iBook, translating 20-25 pages a day. Ugh! It's 12.30pm, done 10 so far. Got one minute left before I've got to start again.

This afternoon a surprise coffee break with Latte Guy. Okay. I'm the one wearing that blogger shirt. Very nice gift Nina gave me!! Dunno why, but I love it loads (yet don't want to wear it to work. You guys knowing about this blog is bad enough as it is ;-).

posted by Sheila Friday, December 31, 2004
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Hmm...

Please don't answer this Q with "yes", raagh! I was wondering though (major Sex and the City flashback, the one sentence I was sooooo annoyed with: "but I couldn't help but wonder: ..."). New sentence.

I was wondering: did I complain a lot lately? I've been talking about movies (no complaints), friends (likewise), music (ditto), sports (same). I know I've been boring you out of your skulls with my vague yada yada about Latte Guy. Ugh. Sorry. Yeah, sorry definitely is the word I've been over-using these last few years. Even Kaine told me - and I only got to spent a few days with him in Granada, last october. Oops. Sor... Kidding.

Sometimes it feels Latte Guy is my mirror or something. It's the first time I've been this close with someone "partnerwise-like", since me and prevSig broke up. For example. I've done some cooking for breezer guy, about two or three (THREE? THREE! OH. MY. G!!) years ago. After that, no cookin' done. Once, if I remember correctly, for Starbucks Man. I was tired then, and somehow not as insecure. I was stressed coz of my t.a.-job. No time to stress about the food, I guess. And I was probably even a bit annoyed with the man (me running around like friggin' crazy, him lying on the couch reading, not even doing the bloody bleedin' dishes though he promised). Anyways. (Please do not remind me, my first question was wether or not I was complaining a lot, har, har!)

I think it's the second time I made Latte Guy dinner. My God, I'm carrying a shitload of old shit around. Feelings long forgotten, biting thru the surface. "My God, I can't cook." "Oh, geez, I have to go the loo yet we're ready to eat." I never realised there were quite some scars left, or rather bruises, let's not make it into a drama. The nerves, those old nerves, dating from a time a relation had lopsided badly, jumping back fresh and scarily alive. Lopsided relations are so bad, so terribly exhausting for the one trying too bloody hard. No worries, I realise I'm the one to blame. Also, I shouldn't allow others to make me wanna dig a hole and hide. Quite some heavy shit to think about.

This post is not even remotely going in the direction I had planned. I wanted to apologize for whining about Latte Guy. To the outside world, not too well informed, it must seem like I'm a little squash ball, lying around, waiting to be hit or caressed by him, if, when and in whatever way he pleases. That's bollocks (please let it be bollocks ;-). *Grinning.*

I'm sorry, I'm gonna stop writing. Have to hang out the laundry. Have some stuff I should figure out, I guess. Really, I had no idea that last period with prevSig had left such a mark on me. Tried too hard to keep someone happy. Learned that way you can't make another person happy. They've got to do it themselves. Trying was tough though. Not like he's to blame, I was doing it myself. Gosh. It's been almost four years. Why did it take me such a long time to realize - wait, that's obvious of course. Like I said, it's the first time I've spent time with someone that close for a longer period of time. So certain roads are back in use for the first time in quite a few years. It's not so weird I find old luggage lying around on those paths. If I could sweep those streets, I'd enjoy the stroll a bit more. Let's start sweepin'.

Guess I don't need a shrink. I'm one myself (*cough, cough!*).

Hi. My name is Philly. Doctor Philly. Can I be of any advise?


~ADDED ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER~
Just read my horoscope (sorry John! Er, skip the 'sorry', lessons learned ;-) and it's funny, decide for yourself:

December 29, 2004 (today)
"This is a good time to let go of any wound or remorse connected with your past or square off any differences that occur between you and another individual. You may also feel more disposed to look into ways to develop your personal health and well-being, especially if you have been undergoing recent stress or a minor health setback. Just don’t go living in a past that never existed…." Er. Me not understand the 'the past that never existed' bit.

Let's see what they say about tomorrow, 30th...
"Recent confusion in your relationships gives way to an enlightened view of some current association which has been based more upon your view of this person as a result of your rose coloured glasses. Get realistic and make a few changes that you now see are imminent."

Actually really TOO sleepy now to read and understand that bit. No excuse, nope. I'll read it tomorrow and decide whether it's crap or not. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs...

Talking of those: man, that whole "see kill" in Asia... Wow. That is (lost for words here) weird.

posted by Sheila Wednesday, December 29, 2004
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Alright

Sorry for my previous post. I just felt like I was exploding or something, HAD to get it off my chest. I now know what caused the feeling - after some frantic writing (here, head, compu, paper). Took me quite a while to get to the bottom of it, I admit. It's like bloody therapy. First time I went down the road I left a few signs. Next time I think I don't need to stress in order to get out of the woods.

Tigra, it's not so much someone else hurting me, it's only me crossing my own borders every now and then. Thanks for worrying though, honestly, but there's no need, I'm hunky dory now, really! Hope you'll feel better soon, the shaking and feverish bit is only fun for so long.

Right. Now I have to get this silly chick to bed (that would be me). Lots to do tomorrow. Hope it'll go as good as last monday. Hmm... Both previous mondays were quite good. Right. Bed. Have a good week, everyone!

PS Tigra, looking forward to seeing your movie Jan 5th!
PPS Got to see such a beautiful movie tonight: Lilja 4-ever. Wow.

time - 11.39pm
mood - feeling a bit embarrassed (for that strong reaction today)

posted by Sheila Sunday, December 26, 2004
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Stupid, silly and/or insecure

Here's some ranting coming up, totally not fair and all. Don't read it, it's gonna be BS (bull shit, aka big sulk).

.... (deleted*)

I don't know how to explain exactly. I feel so... stupid. For caring. For opening up or something. It's a road I just must not take. Have fun, care, but don't express that care, coz you simply can't handle that. Being distant is so much easier. I had let it slip coz he was sick. I've now gotten the kick in the butt I need to get distant again. Only then I can enjoy our time together. It's the only way that works for me. I need a warning sign. I should put it up somewhere. "Careful! Nice view, great stroll, yet steep fall. Don't come too close, or you'll slide down the slope."

I'm such a moron. I wish I could rewind and not have made that call. Naah, it wouldn't have made a difference. I hate it even more when I hear afterwards.

PS As long as I keep my distance, it's a great ride, awesome even - really. Without my distance, it gets bumpy, right there where I'm seated. I should've remembered, the "me being a PT'ist"-approach worked out perfectly for me so far! Now I'm gonna get that coffee pad coffee I had promised myself, change into something more comfortable (wearing a very, very short dress with boots almost up to my knee) and read some on the couch. I'll light some candles. I'm finally breathing again. Such drama over nothing. Just a tiny detail, a teeny weeny rule I had forgotten to live by. I'm good now. *Relieved deep breath.*

* I've deleted the whole ranting bit, saved it in my inbox. I know Nina says I should not think about what others think when I'm posting something, but knowing someone might end up reading something I'm not willing to say to face to face/on the phone, kind of makes it odd at times. So while ranting I got to the point and realized what was really bothering me. So all that's left here, is that conclusion. The ranting bit was stored for diary purposes.

posted by Sheila Sunday, December 26, 2004
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Christmas Gifts


Turns out I don't need anyone to help finish those six super croissants - I finished them all, stuffed my face, slowly, enjoying, while listening to one of my c-mas gifts, drinking plunger coffee and sipping fancy juice.

PJ's cd Uh Huh Her was a gift from Latte Guy, a while back. Thursday eve, after we returned from the theater, I found my christmas gifts on the stairs. One of my neighbours must have been so kind as to open the door for the postman (who definitely does NOT always ring twice).

~Wait, a 3rd cup to be poured... V. small cups, consider it my 1 1/2. Done.~

The small package was opened immediately after I had taken the garbage out. Thank you smokecd's for delivering it in time before c-mas!!! Lurvely, lurvely.

Sheila's Personal Chrismas Presents:
* JAKOB - Dominion. One track, 29:15.
Recorded at the church frederick st. wellington, nz. jan 2003. Signed copy: 123/1000. Listened to it once. Very relaxed. Curious what it'll be like if I hear it more often.

* CONSCIOUS ROOTS - The awakening of the Aotearoa Roots movement. 13 tracks, various artists, c 2004. Listened to it once so far, one or two were too MOTR for me, too poppy or something. Will listen again. And I don't mind programming a cd before I press play. There are cd's I programm just to skip that particular song that annoys me.

* MONKEY MAGIC - 16 tracks, c 2004. Various artists. Monkey Records is a NZ indie label. Funny, they thank Chris Chetland, his brother Paul's a friend of mine. Ha! Small world, eh. Listening to it now. Latte Guy heard it thurs eve and said: "now, of *this* I'd like a copy". Very funny *broad grin*. Anyways, definitely a good idea to put it on your wish list!

* JACK JOHNSON - On and on. 16 tracks if I counted them right, c 2003. Thanks to Mike I've gotten to know about mr Johnson. Funnily enough those kiwi's really *do* share my taste in music, coz they've put him on several of their Lazy Sunday compilations as well (there are four, I've got them all, first was a gift of Paul, third of Latte Guy, 2nd and 4th I ordered at Smokecd's.com). My fave JJ number is - still - Flake. Thanks to Nina I've also got Brushfire Fairytales, don't know why, but she bought it for me while having a shopping spree - *slightly beaming*.

Friday eve I stood in front of my library (= loads of unread books). There wasn't one winking at me. At last, I picked "Still Life with Crows" by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. I've just read its 2nd chapter and I'm smiling: officer Pendergast is back in town. Yeah!

Btw, there was something else I wanted to mention... Tap, tap, tap... (fingers on table, matter of speech only). Oh, right, I remember! I was really feeling ready for a new Potter book this weekend, I really think it's a shame Rowling didn't manage to wrap it up earlier. On the other hand, loads of families would've had a crappy christmas, with half the family in hiding, while reading about a certain half blood prince. I'm glad I got to see "Philosopher's Stone" a 2nd time (BBC), I liked it way better than the first time (did they cut like half an hour out of it? I can remember parts I didn't get to see this time around).

In Pottery mood, I surfed to jkrowling.co.uk and hurray! Dec 22nd she told the book will be released July 16th!!! I'm ready, I will have re-read 5 by then. Yihaa! Very much looking forward to it.

I think her site is pretty darn cool. Got to open the door! Want to as well? To get to the door: click on the scrunchie lying on the desk. Give it a try. Can't answer 'm all? The answers... Well, okay then. Ron's least favourite sandwich stuffing: corned beef. Hermione's patronus: otter (??). One answer is "blood", another "prince". And the town above which Harry fell asleep: Bristol.

Right, my plunger coffee has turned into poison by now. I'm gonna get a coffee pad cup of coffee to er... fill her up baby! And er, did I already mention (I did) it's such lovely weather out?? It is. It's sunny, it's light, it's great. It's probably really really busy at the beaches now. And in town as well, I guess. Right. Off I go. 3.30pm.

mood - quite happy

posted by Sheila Sunday, December 26, 2004
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Boxing Day

Been for my first run in three weeks (if not longer), it's the first time I got to do sports in three weeks, that's for sure. It was such lovely weather to run. The sun was shining, made it feel like spring, summer almost. Yet the layers of the small lakes etc in the park were slightly frozen over. It was bee-eautiful...

Got home, vacuum cleaned half the house. Ate a piece of cold beef. Want to finish vacuum cleaning (study, bedroom), take a shower, make coffee, eat ... well, that's why I'm writing right now.

It's boxing day. I want the smell of fresh bread in my house. But what the hell am I gonna do with *SIX* super croissants?

Other than that:
* PJ Harvey singing on the background
* should write this I.M.Portant letter
* should translate

Dvd's rented for xmas:
* Ken Park -> seen it xmas eve
* Lilja Forever
* Punch Drunk Love
* Noi Albinoi -> copied it, to maybe see it with Latte Guy

Nina is abroad. P sent me a message yez eve, inviting me over to eat all xmas leftovers. I just want to stay in though... My run was lovely. And I feel like coffee with LG in town ;-)

Merry merry... Etc! Gonna finish vacuuming.
Anyone for Super Croissants? Ugh :-p

PS It's 1.15pm now.

posted by Sheila Sunday, December 26, 2004
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Christmas

A very merry christmas to you all! So far, I'm enjoying mine very, very much. I should've translated like a zillion pages today - I didn't come any further than opening the book around 1pm, and closing it just now (7pm).

Thursday I went to see a theatre show in R'dam with Latte Guy. He spent the night (sick as he was) and we left at a reasonable time to walk towards his place. Maybe halfway (1/3rd?) we stopped to have a double latte - actually quite a nice place, only been there about once or twice before. After an hour, we kissed goodbye (luuuuuuurve kissing and hugging, yum...!).

Walked past a pet store on my way home ...

OOPS! Gotta run, Harry Potter 1 on bbc. Hated it the 1st time, wanna give it a 2nd try.

Love to you all and especially to...oh well, all of you!

posted by Sheila Saturday, December 25, 2004
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Shaking all over

Wow, wow, WOW! Today I did two scary things regarding taxes and study costs: I looked up all info I needed and made two phone calls to check on those scary things that pretty much haunted me for over two weeks already. (I worried over fines, the study one had already sent me a warning I'd get one, and I was kind of waiting for one of our tax peeps.)

Turns out they were - as they say in Dutchy land - storms in a glass of water. Both of them, apparently! I AM SO RELIEVED! I know it's only money, but still... HUG ME, KISS ME, DANCE WITH ME! I'm wow, so relieved. Just needed to share it.

Got an appointment with my tax man now to do my taxes over 2003 (bit late, but they never sent the Blue Enveloppe, nor a reminder, so no fines coming my way acccording to tax man), and the guy of IBG (money/student traveller's card) checked it while I was on the phone. "You're completely right, I'll get you out of this system. You did not get any money/loan, and you never picked up the traveller's card." Also he checked 2000 for me, the one I had expected to get fined for: "You were just below the max allowed, so that's alright." Wow, wow, WOW.

What does one say again: one fears foremost fear itself? Or smthng like that. I'm happy, happy. Now I'm gonna run, someone's gonna squeeze my face (ouch!!), and massage it afterwards (mmmm....).

mood - heavenly ;-)

posted by Sheila Monday, December 20, 2004
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DVD's

G. was so kind as to lend me "Requiem for a Dream". I wonder if Latte Guy's already seen it. Hmm. No, I'm not gonna text him, mail him or call him. There's not much point in doing that anyway (even if I were to allow myself to do such a thing).

It's quite simple... Whenever we spend time together, we don't have time to watch a movie. There's so much to talk/chat, or we're going to the theatre, or there's loads of hugging, etc. There's just never enough time to watch a movie. And hardly any time to sleep. It's remarkable how much hugging and chatting two people can do - *wondering in a very positive way*.

Shrek 2, Before Sunset, what other films... maybe also Citizen Kane, Goodbye Lenin? Don't remember. So the only thing to decide now: wait another half hour and watch 24 on tv, or put in this Requiem? Naaaaaah... Not gonna watch it right now. Bugger, I'm gonna have to DO something, I'm slipping into a sunday night blues, don't cutie, no point, no point!

Totally different subject: it's funny how my cat enjoys sleeping on my lap all of a sudden. Ever since I've got a laptop. Weird cat! CUTE though ;-)

posted by Sheila Sunday, December 19, 2004
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End of Year Lists?

It's the second half of the last month of 2004: it's the time of the top hundreds, best offs, etc. I was searching the web for a kiwi blog I might want to add to my blog faves. After browsing 18 pages of listed blogs, I found Michael Green's. Based: Christchurch, NZ.

~ sidetrack ~
... yeah baby, yeah, I've been there! In the gardens, enjoying a lazy afternoon and some Asian takeaway; at the main square, enjoying Starbucks coffee; same, enjoying both coffee and the unexpected company of Caroline; Sue offering me her sleeping bag; Caroline's friend offering me her copy of a book I had already read, ages before, without realizing back then it was about MAORI's, hence the need for a second time reading it, but also: running my butt off trying to catch up with the Magic Express, coz I couldn't find the stop, and thank Kiwi, they made an extra turn and picked me up anyway...
~ end of sidetrack ~

Now, where was I? Blogs! Michael's! Right. Although I've not read a single one of his posts, there were immediately three things that caught my eye (both of 'm). So although I might not ever be remotely interested in anything he's got to say (can hardly imagine, considering he's managed to get my attention for three separate things within seconds), I'm grateful for putting some info in my head. Things I've heard about before (those two top thingy lists), but had forgotten about.

Thing 1 and 2:
* IMDB.com's top 250 movies as voted by their users.
* Random House's 100 best novels.

Difficult about the latter: they present two lists, one created by a board (how many people? who are these folks?), the other by readers (same Q's).

I just finished reading Ayn Rand's Fountainhead *today*, so it's quite funny to see it at 2nd position in the readers' list (actually, I suspect this list being lopsided by a Group of Rand Fanatics voting as often as possible: in its top 7, only 3 have NOT been written by our Lady of Objectivism).

Anyways, it's fun to see what movies I've seen of those 250, what movies I miss (whatever happened to movies like Wild at Heart?), plus: what books I've read of those 250 and more (some titles are mentioned in both lists, although Rand doesn't make it to the top 100 according to 'the board').

These two lists are a good way to introduce Kiwi Blog Thing 3: a 1001 Day Project. Mr Green's Mission: "Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days". His criteria: "Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part)."

Mr. Green's tasks include:

1 Learn enough French to watch Amelie without subtitles
3 Visit Stewart Island
4 Stop eating meat for a week
6 Read 10 books on the Modern Library (Random House) top 100 list
9 To have seen all IMDB top 250 movies

My comment on these:

1 Amelie must be one of the more highly overrated movies of this decade. I've heard the music before (check out the OST of Betty Blue!!), I've seen the cinematographic gimmicks before (check out the way better Delicatessen, also by Jeunet). If you skip all that, all that seems to be left are the nice stills. If Green wants to learn French (WHY? WHY?) because of this movie, I'd like to discuss some alternatives (which is silly obviously, he must do as he pleases and nothing else).

3 Oof, wouldn't dare say this Island's highly overrated as well, coz (heck, yeah, I've been here too!), coz I've only seen the most southern bit of it. We did a hike around for a day and pretty much all we got to see was one Tui (black bird) and loads, I repeat, loads of boardwalk. Some weeks before that, Linda and I had started pronouncing 'takeaway' in a Maori way (tah-kay-*ah*-way), on Stewart Island (btw, please don't ever stay at Innes, he's a nutter with camera's around for sure! Ugh, creepy fellow). After hiking for several hours, John, Hit and I renamed Stewart Island Too Many Steps (toh-mah-nie-staps) (do you actually remember that, John?).

4 Hmm... I'd go with "stop drinking coffee for a week". There have been weeks I didn't eat meat, without me really noticing it. So no challenge there. The coffee bit though... Oof!

6 I like this challenge! I don't know how many I've already read (they wouldn't count), and how many I've already lying around, waiting to be read (nope, they don't count either!).

9 Woah, now wait a sec, NO! All 250? I'm SURE there are films on that list I don't wanna see. It's a good list to challenge yourself into exploring films you've not seen or not yet heard about. I'd almost say: exciting! But that would sound cynical, which I'm not (well, not at this very moment, that is. In general? Yeah, definitely.)

So, I guess now you understand why I enjoyed Green's site, without even having read a single post he's written (unless you consider his 101 tasks a post - which I don't, and hey, this is *my* blog!).

Enough, it's almost 6pm. I'm sorry sunday's come to an end. After being at home sick for almost two weeks, after not having felt well for two weeks before that, there's loads I would've loved to do today and loads I should've done as well. (Samantha flash back: coulda, woulda, shoulda.)

Yeah, friday was my first careful bite of feeling okay again. Met up with Latte Guy for a quick coffee (well, 1,5 hrs) to wrap the date we had the night before (both I enjoyed heaps, which you know if you've read one of my prev posts). After that, I got to go shoe shopping for half an hour, bought a pair of sneakers and a pair of sneakerboots (up until my knees). After that, beer with prevsig (previous sigot, you should know my abbrev's by now, haha), takeaway noodles at Noodle and Go (find their URL yourself, pls) and eating it at my place. Played TANTRIX for a while. After he left at 11pm, felt the need to hear LG's voice, so disturbed him, watching a dvd of one of our better "comedians", Hans Teeuwen. He was being really nice though, took the effort to give me some time.

Saturday: coffee and fresh mint tea with Cristina at Paleis. Gave her a copy of "feels like home" (Norah J) to help her feel more at home in Ethiopia (lousy try, but what else could I do..?), she had brought me an Ethiopian hand made shawl. I kissed her goodbye at the bus stop. Hadn't seen her since her move to E., eight months ago, wonder when I'll see her again. Such a sweet, intelligent girl...

Then straight on to T., to have latte's with Nina (not her real name). Good to see her. Also very sweet girl. I'm really fond of her, and I enjoy our friendship loads. Didn't have too much time, both of us, so around 5pm we kissed goodbye - Nina's off for a two weeks holiday in Libanon. Then she tricked me into seeing her for a bit on Monday. Nasty woman! *broad grin*

Quick stop at supermarket to get munchies for our filmclub that eve. Then home to eat (leftovers of thursday, when Latte Guy cooked me a lovely dinner), tasted even better now I could taste a bit more (thursday I was still suffering from a cold). Then I really needed a mo's peace, coz my energy levels are way, way low, after two weeks of flu. Meant to give my mum a quick call before I'd leave, turned into almost half an hour. Such a lovely woman that mother of mine. Decided I will not go and see my family over Christmas. She said she understood, and backed me up on my decision (is that proper grammar??). I love her very much. I told her that as well. She's the best mum one could hope for.

Today was do nothing day, although I planned on WORKING - two deadlines are approaching fast, iew. Wanted to get up early, but my thoughts wandered off so I ended up doing some sports between da sheets. Solosex can be fun, sometimes I forget. My fantasies were working extra hours, haha. (Q comes to mind: "did you feel it?" *happy smile*)

Right, it's been 6pm now. My ass is hurting me, this chair is not very friendly (wood). Which reminds me of John Goodman in "Barton Fink", the second film we got to see at our filmclub yez. The first was "The Man Who Fell to Earth". (You know the keys on your keyboard. You know where to find info, so surf to imdb yourself. I'm not very helpful today, oops!)

Right. Need to get up, need to get some blood running in those cheeks adding up to a lurrrvely butt. Bye for now, sweetie pies (those words 'sweetie pie' are used in The Fountainhead as well, just like 'hubby', funny.)

BUBBYE! Talk later...

posted by Sheila Sunday, December 19, 2004
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YES!

It took a pretty darn long time, but yesterday was my first day feeling OKAY. I had a tiny setback (tired) late afternoon, like 'wow, i should find a place to sit now', but other than that... no flu, just a little coughing and the like. Even been out for coffee, even had 2 beers, before I went home (quite early, around 7pm I guess).

Had a great, great time with Latte Guy - enjoyed it v., very much. Would love to tell more, yet I'm getting a headache now, coz I haven't had a drop to drink yet, so gonna get tea and coffee NOW!!

Ugh, it can be so, so, so nice to like someone... Very good feeling. Maybe this PT'ist thingy might work ;-) (I.e. being able to enjoy it without the sorrow.)

mood - THIRSTY! plus: in the mood to finally finish reading this Rand book "the fountainhead"

posted by Sheila Saturday, December 18, 2004
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Funny Films

Thanks to Amber I bumped into a very funny site with weird films. Amber mentioned the "how to get your girl..." one, right now I've seen about 4, quite funny. Like the table tennis guys! Anyways... wanna check 'm out? Click below:

Short films!

mood - happy, coz i'm feelin' much better - finally! Just a tiny bit more coughing and I'll be up and runnin'.


PS Still lookin' for a job ;-)

posted by Sheila Wednesday, December 15, 2004
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Re: previous post

The nasty feeling you might think I was nagging about Latte Guy in my previous post, is haunting me. I did not try and do such thing. I was merely stating the now obvious, and trying to find a way to deal with it, by putting it in black and white. Right there, in my face (and yours). (Okay, the good news: that remark still makes me think of s.e.x.!)

Fact: I'm enjoying our 'dates' loads, and I'm already looking forward to his surprise 'date' next week: he asked if I had plans for Dec xx, I said I didn't, he said I now had, coo-hoool!

Wanna watch Gilmore Girls now, so ain't gonna go thru way more facts.

posted by Sheila Tuesday, December 14, 2004
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Research

According to research (three universities plus a demographic institute) almost 6 out of 10 Dutchies older than thirty, are living together in marriage. Aged fourty or up: almost 7 out of 10. Living in this century, I miss info on peeps living together out of wedlock (don't you love the word lock). How many people aged 30 or older are living together with a significant other?

The research folks say almost a quarter (23%) of all adults has 'experienced a divorce' - I'm translating it literally on purpose. I've experienced one, I've not gone through one. Bit of a difference. I guess they mean the second, of course, but still... If their results are multi interpretable, I wonder what their questions were like. (Being still-sick-bitch here, I know, surrrrrie...)

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary will pronounce the word for you, very funny (it gave my cat a scare!).

Main Entry: wed·lock
Pronunciation: 'wed-"läk
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English wedlok, from Old English wedlAc marriage bond, from wedd pledge + -lAc, suffix denoting activity
: the state of being married : MARRIAGE, MATRIMONY
- out of wedlock : with the natural parents not legally married to each other

It's a good thing I don't have these childhood dreams of getting married, *chuckle*. Blunt but true: all I am nowadays, is someone's PT'ist (PT=pastime="something that amuses and serves to make time pass agreeably"). Or in Dutch: TVD'er (TijdsVerDrijfster). Do fun things togethere, in the here and now. Remember John Cleese: "Don't mention the ...!" (Future!) (Fawlty Towers, Series One, Episode Six — First shown 24 October 1975.)

Are you someone's sigot? (= Significant other.) I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be someone's sigot again. And if I'll ever have kids. I'll be 32 soon. My reproductive years are whooshing along. Maybe all this relation stuff is highly overrated. Still, it's kind of weird. Like you're missing out on something huge. Hell, I don't know.

Time to get some rest, old lady here still sniffin' etc. Ciao babes! Never mind my ranting. Days go by anyway, that's one thing I've learned from staying in sick.

mood - "matter of factly"
(no, i'm not in a bad mood! seeing things clear, that's all)
and now i want something warm to drink :-)

posted by Sheila Tuesday, December 14, 2004
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Ugh

Still sick, don't even want to talk about it. I want manderijntjes, but I don't want to see anyone. Between the devil and the deep blue see.

Anyways. What's up with these ladies?


Copyright Telegraaf


Exactly WHY are they tilting their head? Is it feminine? Is it their hair? I wonder: are they cursing the other for having the exact same hairdo? Or did they become big friends all of a sudden and was it their mutual decision.

Back to the tilting: is it their right boob being a tiny bit more heavy than the other? Or is it really coz it makes them feel a woman?? If it is, it annoys the shit out of me.

Things that bug you when there ain't much you can do.

posted by Sheila Friday, December 10, 2004
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Are you married?

Well my dad is. Three's a charm, eh (don't tell, his stepkids don't know their mum is his third). He's married today for exactly 9 years. Congrats, dad! Half way there now, and you've got a personal record. You'd better!!

The longest I've been with a guy is 7 or 8 years (we never had an official beginning). In one or two weeks I'll be living together with my cat for seven. Let's hope there will be some (or one) new pr's in my life, being/living together with a male! ;-) LOL.

posted by Sheila Saturday, December 04, 2004
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Yeah, babe

Just been for a run 11am-12.10 with a Run Boy. It was fun to run with someone else! I talked quite a lot, yadastuff, but that's okay. He told about his vacation and about the 10k run he's gonna do tomorrow, plus the marathon he plans on doing for a first time in april in Rotterdam. Waah!

Found a fun trivia quiz on HBO's site, surf here: http://www.hbo.com/city/games/index.shtml

Oof, it's already 1pm, I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna make a new compilation cd this afternoon, could be fun. I've to take it slow, I'm not too fit. Slept for ten hours in a row last night! Oops.

Made a cheesecake yez, with cream this time. Next time (3rd time) I'll stick to soy milk. With cream it's just too much. Also a little less butter, like last time (when I had no choice, coz it was all I had left). The bottom will not be as firm, but more tasteful.

Talking of pies - I've got a bet with Run Boy, which I already know I've won: is Johnny Depp in Chocolat yes or no? I said YES he said NO, he wanted to bet on it, I said fine, so now he owes me APPLE PIE! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!

Might see Latte Guy tomorrow night, after his work. Would be fun, but he's kinda sick ("sniff sniff" - he's got a mean cold). We got to go to a theatre show last wednesday. We had some heavy convo's wow. He was like a surgeon opening me up until I told him my deepest secret thoughts. Which was scary. And I felt like I had had a therapeutic session, afterwards. It felt good though, I must admit. Very weird. Stuff I don't think I've ever admitted to anyone, hardly to myself even. And he gave me hug afterwards. Okay...

As a bonus we finally got to see a good show! Woohee! It's done by Ro Theater, so if you're up for it, do go and see it. Afterwards they had the loveliest beer, we both had one plus some Greek stuff to eat, then off to the train station. Right. It was completely closed off. There were hooligans walking on the railway tracks, later on I read there was a call to 911, saying a guy on the train carried a handgranate. Ah. Luckily Latte Guy was as tired as me, and decided then and there, 10.15pm, we were off to a hotel. Me not mind! Haha. It was fun to stay in a 70s kind of place. Maybe some other era. It reminded me of my granny's home, before she got too old to take care of herself and moved to an elderly home. My cat didn't get dinner nor breakfast the next day, he was sooooooo hungry when I got home thurs eve at 8pm (been to the gym, I was ALONE which was boring, so I stopped after 3/4s of an hour).

I'm getting cold, so I'm off to the showers NOW. And I should've gotten a sport shake, darn, forgot. Ate hardly anything yez - three slices of bread, two pieces of pie (cake). Perhaps a banana. That ain't a whole lot. This morning I had a shake. Now it's 1.15pm, raaaaaagh! Off you go girl, go hit the shower!

PS Feel like going for coffee in town. Should meet up with P. though, stuff to swap, etc. Hmmm...

posted by Sheila Saturday, December 04, 2004
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Venus in furs

I am tired, I am weary
I could sleep for a thousand years
A thousand dreams that would awake me
Different colors made of tears

Velvet Underground

mood - salty

posted by Sheila Wednesday, December 01, 2004
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